Beautiful Stranger...
The shameful Chicago Bears just took the last of this season’s games from the Green Bay Packers. Cherry wood aroma fills my house. My dog lies content, and I am overwhelmed by the beauty of such moments as these – when all that I enjoy is condensed into such a space and time. Moments of lack – where emptiness or loneliness prevail –seem a distant (and slightly comic) memory. The tree is lit, and the presents under it threaten to overtake the living room. Tonight, my children will be home, and tomorrow starts the days which will fly busily past until all that’s left are tired eyes, full bellies and fuller hearts. And before I know it, 2007 – the greatest year of my life so far – will be over. This reality has pressed upon me for some days now, mingling contentment I’ve never known with a kind of mourning. As I have relived moments which would have stymied imagination 15 months ago, my thoughts turn to you. I know not where I’ll find you, or even if I’ll find you – but the beginnings of my attempts to put words to the gratefulness which is due this last year MUST include thoughts of you.
All that I’ve enjoyed this year came as if to prove a point – perhaps the point that just when I thought the best had past, I never could have been more mistaken. From Costa Rica to Jerusalem, to this very moment by the fire – words do not suffice to convey the things that have happened since the day I met you. And that’s OK, because any of the single moments in and of themselves (except perhaps Jerusalem) do not match the brilliance of their compilation in this moment. I can’t imagine that 2008 could possibly hold in store anything which might overwhelm me as much, let alone more. But then, I could never have predicted this. And for some reason, that very fact has my thoughts turned back to you.
I’ve heard it said of people in our lives, that some are there for a reason, or for a season. Circumstances being what they were, it quickly became clear that your stint in my life would not last a season. It is my sincerest hope for you at this Christmas time that your circumstances have only improved in every way imaginable. My reaching out to you now across the miles is not intended to disrupt any single thing in your world. I tried to convey to you once before how grateful I was to you for the work that you performed in my world. But at the time, I could not have known how it would continue in my life. Hindsight now clearing the view, I feel that much greater is your due; and so I reignite the struggle to convey to you just what a special thing occurred one weekend in Chicago.
The events of these last dozen months or more have been amazing, but what has captivated me in this moment is that weekend. It is coming clear to me now the way that so many blockages in my life were removed in just two days, and how all that came later was only then made possible. Certainly, I credit the grace of God first and foremost. And I have grown generous enough with myself to be proud of the accomplishments since then – personal, parental and professional. But I am compelled to reach out and again remind you of the part you played, whether you ever meant to or not. I am compelled to tell you that my gratitude at the time was in no way either fleeting or forgotten – or tied to any temporary agenda. I told you then that I regarded you as a gift, and over a year hence, the belief still holds true – and so does the gift. So thank you, and Merry Christmas – and the happiest of New Years.
Gratefully,
Jennifer
All that I’ve enjoyed this year came as if to prove a point – perhaps the point that just when I thought the best had past, I never could have been more mistaken. From Costa Rica to Jerusalem, to this very moment by the fire – words do not suffice to convey the things that have happened since the day I met you. And that’s OK, because any of the single moments in and of themselves (except perhaps Jerusalem) do not match the brilliance of their compilation in this moment. I can’t imagine that 2008 could possibly hold in store anything which might overwhelm me as much, let alone more. But then, I could never have predicted this. And for some reason, that very fact has my thoughts turned back to you.
I’ve heard it said of people in our lives, that some are there for a reason, or for a season. Circumstances being what they were, it quickly became clear that your stint in my life would not last a season. It is my sincerest hope for you at this Christmas time that your circumstances have only improved in every way imaginable. My reaching out to you now across the miles is not intended to disrupt any single thing in your world. I tried to convey to you once before how grateful I was to you for the work that you performed in my world. But at the time, I could not have known how it would continue in my life. Hindsight now clearing the view, I feel that much greater is your due; and so I reignite the struggle to convey to you just what a special thing occurred one weekend in Chicago.
The events of these last dozen months or more have been amazing, but what has captivated me in this moment is that weekend. It is coming clear to me now the way that so many blockages in my life were removed in just two days, and how all that came later was only then made possible. Certainly, I credit the grace of God first and foremost. And I have grown generous enough with myself to be proud of the accomplishments since then – personal, parental and professional. But I am compelled to reach out and again remind you of the part you played, whether you ever meant to or not. I am compelled to tell you that my gratitude at the time was in no way either fleeting or forgotten – or tied to any temporary agenda. I told you then that I regarded you as a gift, and over a year hence, the belief still holds true – and so does the gift. So thank you, and Merry Christmas – and the happiest of New Years.
Gratefully,
Jennifer
posted by JennW7773 | 7:09 PM
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